Wednesday 15 August 2012

What You Missed Whilst The Olympics Were On

1. Boris Johnson Invites His Mate to the Olympics
Mere weeks after the Leveson inquiry, created in part due to alleged illegal activity at the News of the World and the allegations that Rupert Murdoch held undue influence over elected officials, Boris Johnson invited his buddy Rupert to join him at the Olympics without a care in the world. In the Evening Standard he was quoted as saying "We've got to stop demonising people. As far as I understand the matter, Rupert Murdoch is not under any criminal investigation."

I don't know how anyone else read that but apparently, as far as Boris is concerned, as long as you are not currently being investigating for a crime everything else is fair game.

2. Dave and Nick Have a Spat
It had to happen eventually I suppose. Dave said that he couldn't care less about the House of Lords reform. He said Nick could say whatever he wanted but he wasn't gonna do owt about it. Nick said, "yeah well you do that! I don't even care because I was going to vote for your stupid boundary changes and I'm not now so ha" and then stuck his tongue out and walked away.

3. Here, 24 Hours a Day to Take Your Call
It seems that prisoners are being let out on day release to work in call centres for just 40p an hour. As someone who has spent many a year working in call centres I would have to say that it is punishment enough for anyone.

Flippancy aside, it has caused controversy. The company employing the prisoners, Building Green, have some very disgruntled ex-staff members. They are alleging that the company are firing staff and using the prisoners as cheap labour. The company, obviously dispute this, said newly appointed press officer, Charles Bronson.

4. Boris's Former Aide Cleared of Extreme Pornography Charge
Simon Walsh, former aide to Boris Johnson takes the word kinky to a new level. Walsh was acquitted of the charges which were brought against him in relation to pictures found on his Hotmail account for which his user name was "Cityfister." This, I feel should set the tone for what is about to come, it is not for the faint hearted. The pictures, three of which were taken by Walsh himself, contained images of anal fisting and something called urethral sounding, an activity that involves surgical equipment and a pee hole. This gives a new meaning to the phrase "work hard, play hard."

5. Ed Miliband
And it seems you weren't the only one. While David Cameron was pictured looking decidedly uncomfortable on the tube and Boris Johnson got stuck on a zip line across The Thames, Ed was...well, we are not sure. And I for one am thankful. That's one less cringeworthy picture of a politician trying to look normal.